Do you really want to die?

Journal Entry: Friday, June 30th, 2006

I once knew something about the spirit world and I think having experienced this particular experience is one of the reasons why the Lord has kept the power of His kingdom locked away from me, and not allowed me to have access in the way I know it can be manifested. The sheer spiritual power available to mankind when coupled with the Spirit of God is way beyond the ability of natural man to comprehend. In the stories I mentioned in my notes gives us a glimpse of how easily the natural forces of this earth were overwhelmed in a moment of time by the spiritual acts of Jesus when He walked on water, calmed the storm, and stilled the sea. I don’t have the words to adequately explain the power of the spirit world. I have seen it, however briefly, I have participated in it, and was awed by what I felt and seen. Which has led me to believe since then that there is absolutely nothing on this earth that could stand against an onslaught from that realm. I have no doubt whatsoever that if the Holy Spirit wasn’t holding at bay the kingdom of evil; Satan and his evil horde would have annihilated mankind and this world a long time ago.

Upon entering the spirit realm there were two things I immediately understood;  one, there is no time, and two, there is no distance in that realm. You are where you think you are. When I entered the spirit world it was like I stepped into a vacuum. I could see the full moon, the stars, the nighttime sky, and all of my earthly surroundings. I was in the spirit realm for about 45 minutes, but still on earth in my own front yard. But, I saw everything clearly and heard nothing but my own thoughts. Everything around me was calm, the presence of silence was deafening. The leaves on the trees were blowing in the breeze even though I could not feel the wind blowing; the hair on Ramone’s (my Doberman Pinscher) back stood up and did not lay back down again until everything returned to normal. She whined softly just before we entered that realm, her teeth were bared, I could tell she was growling, and was very much aware of the change that had taken place. She was frightened and did not like what had happened, but she held her ground because I was there with her. When it was all over and everything returned to normal; she calmed down. The one thing that amazed me more than any other was that I was not fearful when I entered the spirit realm. I felt like I belonged there.

I can understand how people such as witches, spiritual advisers, and psychics are fooled into believing it is God they are working with instead of the one who is really behind their power and spiritual work. Had I not known I was not saved and had no relationship with the Lord, I, too, would have been fooled and overjoyed with the visit. As in all things, the reasons for our spiritual encounters will be revealed at some point in time. Mine was revealed on the morning I had to decide whether or not I wanted to live or die. If I had submitted to the voices demanding my decision right then: I would be in hell right now, a soul separated from God for all time. But, I heard a small still voice, yet so profoundly powerful that it stilled all the others and said to me, “Do you really want to die?” I said, “No; I don’t want to die. I want to live.” Up until that very moment in time I really thought I was going to die, and I expected to die. I didn’t know when or how, or by the hand of who, but I expected to die. I wasn’t afraid to die because I had prepared myself to die; but when the tormenting voices kept demanding I make a decision right then; I wasn’t ready to make that decision at that moment and the voice of the Holy Spirit so calmly but awesomely powerful intervened. Thank God for my bullheadedness in that I won’t be forced into making a decision I am not ready to make. My journey toward salvation began that morning and the hold evil had on my life was broken. My journey into the pits of despair would take another year or so to complete. My life would fall completely apart and I would lose everything I owned except for my dog Ramone, a bag of clothes, and a broken down car with an almost empty gas tank, but my brother and the Lord was there to pick me up when I needed them the most. Would I do it all over again? No way. DThrash

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